I was speaking with an aunt on Skype when my palm started itching.? It was my right palm, let me specify, as I realize that is important.
“Why are you rubbing your palm?” My aunt asked.? I was trying to be unobtrusive, but she has eagle eyes.
“My palm is itching”, I said.
She suddenly looked worried.? “Which palm is it?” she asked me.
“The right one. It has been itching since morning.”
“That is not good. The right palm should not itch”, she said.? Then she fell silent.
I was starting to panic a little now.? Did she know something I didn’t? Was this an ominous early symptom of an incurable disease?? I was now hyperventilating a little, and I wondered if that was also a symptom of that same disease.
“Why, what’s wrong if my palm itches?” I finally asked her, trying to sound unconcerned.
“It means you will lose Money.” she replied.
I heard her capitalize the “M” in Money.
“What, like millions?” I wanted to know.? Of course, I don’t have millions, unless you are counting in paise, or maybe, just maybe, if you are counting in cents.? Losing millions actually seemed an attractive proposition, for it meant I would have to make those millions first.
“I don’t know”, she said.? “All I know is, for women, if the right palm itches, they will lose Money.”
“Why is it bad only for women?” I asked.? “What if the right palm itches for men? Won’t they lose money? ”
“No, men will lose money only if their left palm itches”, she said.
What, are we supposed to be mirror images of men now?? I was shocked that gender discrimination had sneaked in insidiously even into palm itching.? Were even our superstitions not safe now?? What next – black cats should not cross men’s paths and pink cats for women?? Although, if I saw a pink cat, I would probably run screaming anyway.
As I was thinking all this, I started to rub my left palm.? “Now my left palm is also itching”, I wailed.? “Looks like I am going to lose a lot more money.”
She brightened up immediately.? “No, no”, she said.? “You will make money if your left palm itches.”
Great! I wished my left palm would itch a little more.? Maybe I would make those millions then.
“Will it cancel off the right palm, do you think?” I asked her.? “What if my left palm itches much more than my right? palm?? But wait, my right palm has been itching for hours, and my left palm, only for a few minutes.? So, do I only make about 5% of what I lose?”
“I don’t know all that,” she said a little impatiently, even a little irritably.? “If your left palm is itching now, it’s good, that’s all I can tell you.”
I could see that I was not going to get any more answers from her.
Still, it was nice to know that I could predict whether I would make money just by checking whether my palm itched.
Maybe I should start buying Powerball tickets, I thought.? If my left palm itched near the Powerball vending machine, I would know I was going to be a winner.
Still, not everyone is a believer.? We were shopping at the mall the other day, and I wanted to visit the Coach showroom.? R was not interested.
“You just bought a Coach handbag two weeks back because there was a sale!” he protested.? “Why do you want to go there again?”
“I just want to see what new bags have come in after the sale!”, I said.? “I don’t plan on buying anything.? See, my right palm is not even itching!”
But sadly, R was unmoved.
There was worse to come.? I was having a very interesting conversation with V on Skype the other day.? I hadn’t even realized that I was rubbing my palm while talking to him.
“Why don’t you apply some moisturizer on your palm?” he asked.
I absentmindedly reached for the moisturizer and spread a dollop on my left palm, as I continued my conversation.
My left palm stopped itching.
I glared at V.
“What happened?” he asked, looking puzzled.
“You just made me lose a lot of money.”
He didn’t believe me.? But my palms have stopped itching since then.? Not the right palm, which is good, but not the left either.
How will I know now whether I am going to spend or save? 😦