On the eighth day, God created social networking sites.? “Go forth and network”, he said to all creatures.? Well, surely he must have ?
I met an aquantaince other day, and was shocked at the deep, dark circles under her eyes.? She was a new mother, juggling work and housework, and I could understand that she must be exhausted.
“Lots of work?” I asked her sympathetically.
“Not really, but I am spending far too much time online,” she said.? “You know, all these networking sites are so addictive.”
“Tell me all about it,” I said understandingly. “Twitter is bad enough, and then there is Linkedin, Facebook, Orkut..”? I stopped when I saw her shaking her head.
“Actually,” she said, “it’s not Facebook.? These days I spend far more time on Totspot and Kidmondo and Lil’Grams.? You know,” she added looking at my blank face, “those are social networking sites for Rohan.”
“You mean your 2 month old baby updates his profile?? Wow! What does he write about?” I asked, fascinated.? “Color of poop and frequency?”
She looked offended.? “What’s wrong with that, anyway?? That is very helpful information for lots of new mothers.? Anyway, he writes mostly about his parents.”
Yes, of course he would.? I was obviously missing the point here.
“I am also setting up my Dad’s Eldervoice page”, she said, “and that’s a lot of work too!”
“Wow”, I said, “that’s very nice of you!? I am glad you are doing this for your Dad!? He seems so internet savvy!”
“Actually, ” she grinned wryly, “he doesn’t know how to surf the net.? He doesn’t come anywhere near the PC at home.? But don’t you think everyone should have a networking page??? I will probably end up doing all the online interaction on his behalf, but it’s worth it! Think of the good it will do me, er, him!”
I nodded.? “So everyone in your house is on some social networking site then! Sounds great!”
“Well, almost everyone”, she corrected me.? “Buster is on Dogster and My Dog Space and Doggyspace.? He is very social, you know, has lots of online friends.? Then Kitty and Tabby are on Catster.”
I started to edge away from her at this point.? “Oh that covers everyone then,” I said with an air of finality. “Hey, it’s been great talking to you!”
But she wasn’t done yet.
“No, it doesn’t cover everyone”, she said, shaking her head sadly, “the goldfish doesn’t have any friends, poor Goldie!? Can you imagine, there are absolutely no social networking sites for fish!? Then there are my bamboo plants …”
“There are gardening forums for bamboo plants”, I interrupted hurriedly, “and I am sure there are pet care forums as well if you want information on fish.”
She looked at me sadly.? “You don’t get it, do you?” she asked me.? “Goldie has his own personality!? He ‘s not? just another fish!? He is an individual, a member of this family!? How can I deny him his own identity?”
So all of you wannabe millionaires, could you start a social networking site for goldfish?? And bamboo plants?? I am sure it will bring in the millions!
P.S. This is a work of satire. It’s not a true story – it is tagged Fiction (though I know that isn’t obvious unless you look closely.) I am sorry if I have misled any readers into thinking this was a true story. But all those websites (Dogster, Catster etc.) do exist and I am sure there is someone out there who closely resembles this person!