Recycling runaway bins

My recycling bin doesn’t like its job.  It is also not afraid to say so.

Every week, I put out the recycle bin on the street.  Plastics, cans, card board, paper, all go into this bright blue bin and get picked up by the garbage disposal truck.

But my recycling bin keeps running away.  Sometimes it attempts suicide by sitting in the middle of the road in the face of traffic, sometimes it tries to get around the corner when I am not watching.  Sometimes, it upends itself and walks away, leaving all the cans on the ground.  In short, it has tried every trick to get out of the job and to let me know exactly what it thinks of my trash.

I am not a bad boss, so I did spend some time wondering how I could increase the bin’s job satisfaction.  I rinsed every empty milk jug and can in hot water, to improve the bin’s job content.  I was also careful not to overload the bin.  Yet the bin kept running away.

The bin was almost successful in suicide.  It got under the wheels of a truck and nearly split into two.  I treated it as best as I could, taping it up with clear tape and using it.  But perhaps getting back to work so soon annoyed the bin even more, for it was missing out on disability leave.  In any case, the bin wasn’t doing much work after the injury – it kept having nervous breakdowns.

With regret, I knew it was time to let the bin go.  I drove down to the city center last week to get a replacement bin.

“My recycling bin ran away and broke,” I told the employee in Engineering. (Why does “Engineering” handle recycling bins?)

“Yeah, it’s just too windy these days, isn’t it?”  she said as she handed me a new bin.

I don’t believe it, I thought, she is just making excuses for the bins.  Her cubicle companions leered at me, all nine of them, sitting in their  blue suits against the wall. I wondered what it would be like to spend 8 hours each day in the company of such suicidal maniacs. Do they talk to her?

Which reminded me, I needed my revenge.

“Can I have one more bin ?”  I asked her sweetly.

“Sure”, she said as she handed me one of the blue suits.  She seemed almost glad to get rid of them.

Now I have two more bins I can torment.

“What should I do with the broken bin?”  I asked her.  “Can I recycle that?”

She looked sideways at the blue bins stacked beside her.  Did one of them just move towards her?

“No,” she said firmly, “you should not.  Put it in the trash.”

I left, wondering.  Why can’t I recycle recycling bins?

Does she know something I don’t ?

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25 thoughts on “Recycling runaway bins

  1. LOL 😀 good one! I sometimes really feel stuff do have a mind of their own and especially computers…u know A.I. and all 🙂

    Lekhni: My computer certainly has a mind of its own, but I dare not write too much about it because it’s most probably reading this too 😉

  2. For all you know, your bin has been chasing the recycling truck. Because it does not want to contemplate a life that ends in trash.

    To understand the philosophical, psychological and moral wrangling underpinning this behaviour, I recommend you read the book ‘The pig that wants to be eaten’.

    Lekhni: The recycling truck is a higher order recycling bin – in fact, it’s exactly what the recycling bin will end up as in its next birth 😛

  3. Have you been tormenting the two new recycling bins well? haha..

    Lekhni: I have started tormented one by making it hold trash. The other is already tormented by the fact that it will start getting tormented soon 😉

  4. It was a relief for my brain from thinking after I wrote longest comment in my life on your last post 😀
    Why bin tried to kill itself?
    Bcoz it heard Himesh singing to you, “Tere BIN suni suni hai rate…. tere BIN tanha tanha hai rate, tere BIN,…”
    And it chose death rather than being with Himesh (as it suspected you about handing it over to Himesh for making his singing stop)

    Bah. bad jokes. Cheers. 😀

    Lekhni: I love bad jokes. Haven’t listened to this particular Himesh number (can you blame me? 😉 ) but the BIN songs are infectious. I have started humming “Tum BIN, jaaon kahan” and others like that 😀

  5. why did the bin commit suicide..because life is rubbish.

    one day you are the bin, another day you are the trash.

    ok shoot me please.

    Lekhni: That is good! OK, how about – “one day you are the BIN, then you become a has-BIN (been), and then you are just trash”. 😛

  6. Did you decide to insert ads yet? 🙂

    Also, if you don’t mind some unsolicited advice, I see a lot of missing SEO here. You are writing great stuff but I see potential for adding some meta information which would get picked up by search engines and direct some traffic to your site.

    We should talk sometime.

    Lekhni: No ads, as you can see 🙂 On the missing SEO, I see I have to learn a lot 😦 I would certainly appreciate any unsolicited advice you can give me 😀

  7. Like the cynic said it tried suicide because its life is full of trash !!!.
    Now you want to treat the bin as trash, by dropping it into another pile of trash. I wouldn’t blame the bin.

    Lekhni: You are right, only do I make the recycling bin carry trash and demean it, I literally treat it as trash 😦 This is worse than tormenting, right, this is harassment 😦 I just hope the recycling bin doesn’t sue me 😛

  8. Blame the bin!!! nice phrase……mmm…. blame the bin 😀 😀

    Lekhni: Good one.. I should get a T-shirt saying that for recycling days 😀

  9. Did you sing ‘Bin tere sanam’ when the bin tried to commit suicide?

    I’m affected by ‘Cynic’ ism 😉

    Lekhni: I have been affected too 🙂 I am going around singing “Tum bin more” and other “Bin” songs 😀

  10. “Why does ?Engineering? handle recycling bins?”
    When there is no one else to solve a problem or take the trash out, Engineers lend their generous hands 🙂 !

    Lekhni: You mean they get to do all the dirty work? I would very much like to believe this, and I will, the day I see those same engineers take the trash out in their homes 😉

  11. 😀 😀 hilarious 😀 😀
    i once had a fan that used to squeak at night…and i used to cajole and beg it to stop…finally, after coaxing, ordering and abusing it, it fell on my bed and killed itself (i escaped by one fraction of a second…literally!” 😀 😀

    Lekhni: Scary. That fan seems to have combined suicidal tendencies with murderous ones 😦 I am scared of fans that squeak too, though until now, I’d never heard of one that actually fell 😦

  12. Interesting post..
    But , One can recycle recycle bins atleast in the broader sense of the term. ie They are made of plastic and (most normally available) plastic is generally sent to places which grind them and use them to make new plastic products. The person might have asked you not to put it in the recycle bin because of size, logistics or other reasons. Scientifically I see no reason for a recycle bin not to be recycled even if they are not made of biodegradable material.Perhaps there is a policy to place only bio-degradable material in the recycle bins etc

    Lekhni: I agree, I cannot see any reason why I should not recycle a recycle bin. I recycle plastic bottles in the recycle bin, so why can’t I recycle a plastic bin? 😦

  13. @ Lekhni:

    “.. in fact, it?s exactly what the recycling bin will end up as in its next birth..”

    You assume the bin is a Hindu who believes in rebirth. May be it does not believe in reincarnation. If it did, it would know that committing suicide is more likely to take him to be reborn as a lower life form.

    Lekhni: I doubt if it thinks that rationally 😉 Or maybe it thinks anything is better than being a recycling bin, or working with me 😛

  14. Putting one recycle bin inside another: not exactly the best way to increase the job satisfaction of your recycle bin.

    Lekhni: On the other hand, think of the terror factor – it will know exactly what happens to poor performers :mrgreen:

  15. What a creative and hilarious take on the situation! I was laughing out loud as I read this… especially at the end. It reminded me of when I had to throw out a trash can. That was really hard because writing “TRASH” on it in big black letters didn’t really do anything but further specify its job. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    Lekhni: Exactly, I bet the garbage truck driver saw an empty trash can and figured it had already been emptied 🙂

  16. Yeah, if you want to be “that” kind of boss. Or should I say dictator? I mean, it is “dog eat dog world” but you don’t have to take it literally. 😉

    Lekhni: I know, but being a kind-hearted boss seems to lead to loony bins 😉

  17. You assume the bin is a Hindu who believes in rebirth. May be it does not believe in reincarnation.

    If reincarnation, like gravity, is true, then belief won’t really enter the picture, would it? 😉

    Lekhni: I should let Shefaly reply to this one, but your comment led to a sudden vision of a recycling bin zooming into the afterlife, screaming “but I don’t beleeeve!”

  18. I recycle plastic bottles in the recycle bin, so why can?t I recycle a plastic bin?

    Plastic bottles have a recycling symbol and a number which indicates they are recyclable by that specific city/municipality. If your blue bin has the acceptable number and the recycling symbol, then it probably can be recycled. Or used to grow plants, or seedlings/transplants indoors for next year. 🙂

    Lekhni: If my blue bin does not have a number, can I paste it on? 🙂 Don’t tempt me about the seedlings, I already have way more seedlings than I know what to do with! Besides, the bin is broken..

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