I have been meaning to try writing Haiku verse for some time. In a tentative, will-it-bite way, I love Haiku, though I am not sure I can do any good with it. I am too verbose for Haiku, I can never use five syllables if five hundred would do the job instead.
But then, Shefaly came along and (perhaps not knowing how loquacious I am) tagged me with a lovely Haiku tag.
Here are the rules of the tag :
In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of. Bonus points if you have to show off your Google skills because you can?t remember the name of it and all you can come up with is that it features Roz Russell and Sandra Dee. Turns out it was some tripe called Rosie! Exclamation point the producers? idea, not mine.?Auntie Mame leavings.?
In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date. Bonus points if it was sordid. Subtract points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.?He pushed my head down. I puked.?
In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had. Extra bonus points if it consists of Grim. Taxi dancer. Miss Janey, I?m talking to you. I had a miserable spell where I sat all alone in an empty office, handing out the keys to various hell holes for rent around New Orleans. One Lady came back and complained there was no window in the kitchen, I pretended to sympathize and said something like ?Yes it would be nasty to have no light and air in there.? She replied ?No, hone, you don unnerstan. Dere?s a hole for de winna but ain?t no winna in it.? ?Slum lord in training.?
Put it all together and you have a haiku of life?s low points.
I have a strong suspicion that the Miss Janey bit is not really part of the rules.? I actually traced the tag back two rounds and it seems to start with a Miss Janey.? But it’s entertaining, so I am leaving it in anyway. All you tagees are free to delete it.
Here is my attempt at haiku:
Worst movie ever (5 syllables): Aliens ooze slime.
Worst date ever (7 syllables): His jowls sank in the soup bowl.
Worst job ever (5 syllables): I slept on Sundays.
I see I also have to write a short explanation.? Hopefully, the lines themselves give you some idea. Your imagination can fill in the blanks much better than any of my explanations. But here’s a little background :
The worst movie I’ve seen was undoubtedly Aliens, where I thought the depiction of the aliens was very disgusting and creepy. I had a hard time sitting through the movie, even with eyes shut at times.
The worst date? Well, the picture he had sent me had somehow managed to shave off some 40 lbs from his actual figure. I remember reading a description of a guy in some book that went “his jowls rested thankfully on his shoulders”.? (I think this was P.G. Wodehouse describing a motion picture magnate, but I am not sure.) In this guy’s case, while his jowls were not actually resting on his shoulders, you could see they were aiming to retire there, and soon. 😉
The worst job – this was the time I frequently found myself waiting at the subway station well past midnight.
Now, whom to tag??? I have put in a lot of thought into this (in fact, the tagging took way more time than the haiku).?? I would love to read your haikus…
Gawker (Hope this helps him fight the strong desire to write another towel guy post 😉 )
Post edited to add:? I should have said this before, but here goes – this tag is not restricted to the tagees alone.? Perhaps I just tagged you, or I don’t know that you would be interested in haiku, or even that you lurk on my blog.? If you are reading this, yes, I am talking to you.? Please skip over to the comments section, and just haiku!? 🙂