The J.D. Power tag

I hate taking surveys. This is usually easily solved – I never take them. Not the popup windows on my laptop, not the phone calls from telemarketers, nor the ones that come in the mail.

Some time back, J.D. Power tried to get me to do a satisfaction survey. The survey had some six pages of closely spaced questions and looked like it would take at least an hour. I tried to pass it on to R, who promptly passed it back to me. After a few rounds of passing the paper, the survey landed on the coffee table, where it promptly became a fixed accessory.

J.D. Power would not give up. They started sending me $1 bills with fresh copies of the survey. Was I supposed to be pleased or offended ? If they were going to pay me for my time, shouldn’t they pay me a reasonable billing rate? Like management consultants – $200/ hour? Instead, they were trying to pay me less than minimum wage! The horror!

I tried filling up the survey a few times but would give up after 5 questions (what else can you get for a dollar anyway?).  As more and more copies came in, the coffee table became full of surveys, all of which had the same 5 questions filled in.

After a few rounds of this, J.D. Power finally gave up. My guess is they ran out of dollar bills.

Why am I telling you all this? Because Dipali has tagged me.  I’m sure J.D. Power  would have been proud of her tag, for it looks as long as one of their surveys.  I wished she had tagged some more people too.. misery loves company, of course, but I had another thought – I could have copied all their answers, and finished the survey in no time!  But it’s just me..I am sure I must have done something to annoy her, and I am wondering what it is..

But I can’t wriggle out of this one, even if no one is sending me dollar bills. So here is my survey/ tag:

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

I wrote the date as 1/1/2007 !

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My New Year resolutions are always crafted with care, and meant to be broken. Of course I will make more next year. You can’t keep breaking the same resolution every year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Some friends and cousins did. But are they close? No, they all live quite far away..

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I live in suburbia. Naturally, the demographic of my area is more middle aged baby boomers, and less young couples. Did any of them pop off? Perhaps, but how would I know? Completely unchivalrous, discourteous they all are.. not one of them called me up to inform me before popping off 😦

5. What places did you visit?.

The East Coast, the West Coast, the South and the Midwest. Yes, I know what you are thinking – I missed out on the North-west. Sigh.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

400 days in the year. 26 hours a day.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I really can’t tell one date from the other, they all look the same to me. The dates I ate in California were a lot fresher, though..

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Staying sane.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Staying sane. Insanity, I hear, comes with benefits. That explains why most of the celebrities in the news are certifiably insane.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Minor ones. Why, are you my insurance agent?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Henredon furniture.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Mine !

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and/or depressed?

Everyone else’s.. 😦

14. Where did most of your money go?

Into other people’s wallets 😦

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Watching my confused crab apple tree burst into pink flowers in fall (it’s supposed to flower in spring).

Walking into a deserted JFK in which every other flight was delayed or cancelled, and finding a sign saying “On Time” next to my flight. I was actually more suspicious than excited, but still…

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

Masha Allah!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

Both. Neither. Wait, is there a third option?

18. Thinner or fatter?

This is a toughie..I plead the Fifth.

19. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Sleeping.

20. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sleeping.

21. How will you be spending Christmas?

Huh? Christmas? I don’t know how I will be spending tomorrow 😦

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

Yes, with aforementioned crab apple tree. I hear it’s the fashion to marry trees these days..

23. How many one night stands?

I’m glad you asked. I want not one, but two night stands. In caramel colored wood..perhaps these.   Or these.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

Jay Leno. Naked Science (on Nat Geo).

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yes, yes. I have a long list 😉

26. What was the best book you read?

Well, errr..the best book I read in 2007 was “The Furniture Factory Outlet Guide”. It saved me a ton of money 😉

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

R! I discovered he can sing! Well, it may depend a little on how you define “sing”, but bah! that’s semantics.

28. What did you want and get?

Ha! I usually get what I want 🙂

29. What did you want and not get?

See above. If I don’t get it, I decide I don’t want it either 🙂

30. What was your favourite film of 2007?

Ratatouille.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

You really want to know? OK, don’t blame me then. I’ll tell you the good news first – I had a company-sponsored dinner. The bad news – I ate it at my desk and went on to work really late. C’est la vie.

How old was I? A year older, somewhat wiser..

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Getting a million dollar bonus. Especially in light of above 😉

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

Crow colored suits, mud colored blouses/ tops/ shirts.

34. What kept you sane?

You think I am sane? Really? Thanks..

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Sanjaya Malakar. I woke up on countless mornings to the radio hosts going ga-ga over him. Great entertainment to start the day 🙂

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Elections, elections, elections.

37. Who did you miss?

I miss people all the time. Sometimes I miss part of one ear, sometimes I miss one hand. But that’s because I am not aiming at them, I am aiming my camera at the birds/ flowers/ stones beside them.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Sigh. I never met any new persons. The newest person I met was at least 6 months old..

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

To resist the temptation to watch Indian movies in the US in theaters. The movie watching experience comes free with seedy theaters, bawling babies and loud and continuous stage whispers… 😦

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

What! You want me to sing paeans to a year that’s been gone for two months now? It’s not even going to come back, is it? So what else except “ja ja ja re bewafa” ?

OK, I am done. I really don’t want to tag anyone with this. But then, The Girl from Ipanema has been heard to actually want tags.  I even promised her one, some days back.  So shouldn’t I, umm, live up to my promise?  Of course, I didn’t know it was going to be this one.  But maybe she will enjoy this.  Maybe she completes all her surveys.. aren’t researchers really patient people?  So I will tag The Girl From Ipanema.

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13 thoughts on “The J.D. Power tag

  1. Lekhni, I tagged you with this because I knew I’d get scintillating, witty answers to rather asinine questions.
    I wonder who makes up these questionnaires in the first place, and why I do them at all:)

  2. dipali: Good to know I haven’t offended you after all 😉 But such confidence in my (non-existent) wit! Wait and see, the commenters are going to be a lot wittier that I am 🙂

    km: Eeks! You are right, and post has been duly corrected. Note to self – parallel processing is great, but writing blog posts whle trying to sleep is not a good mix 😦 Next time, should only write blog posts after completely asleep. Those don’t get published 🙂

  3. I knew I had come of age when I began dating the new year correctly from the very first day: I must have been 40 at the time.
    Incidentally, quite a few eminent writers seldom dated their letters, leaving it to the postmark to solve this problem, while they themselves remained unbothered by the movement of the calendar.

  4. That was tooooo long. I fell asleep more times while reading it than during watching Golden Compass. You don’t like stage whispers? Gosh, I go to the theater only for whispers, and of course to add to them. In fact, a description matching my voice tops the wanted lists of all theaters in the area.

  5. Candadai Tirumalai: I still make mistakes sometimes, even towards the middle of the year 😦 I guess that’s because we hardly write dates any more, we rely on Word to complete dates for us.

    Rajesh Kumar: Thanks 🙂

    The_Girl_From_Ipanema: Yeshyeshyesh. I know.. but waat todooo I had given you vachan to tag you…so I have to nibhaofy

    ArSENik: So you can understand why I fell asleep while writing it 🙂

    On stage whispers, were you the person behind me telling the little girl why the heroine (in OSO) cannot use the fire escape and why there are no fire trucks? That was not a stage whisper, that was an entire alternate screenplay going on behind me 😉

  6. No, my whispers are usually raunchy one-liners, like “Tere Salwar Mein Mera Talwar” during the Jodha-Akbar marital sword fight, or songs, like “Popcorn khaja, Coke peeja” during the Khwaja song in the same movie, or some anticipatory remarks about Amitabh Bachhan guest appearances. During the Neha Dhupia story in Dus Kahaniyan, I started cheering when they showed the Hand, saying it was Amitabh’s hand. A lady next to me started laughing. Later I learned that her husband was passing uncomplimentary remarks like “Najane kahan kahan se yeh chichore aa jate hain” about me. My stage whispering resume also includes a full lunged “Go Rambo Go” after he had just finished off an entire chapta village. That one actually got a good response from the audience.

    PS: Dancing mawali style in my yellow tie die at the front of the theater during Rajni’s Shivaji doesn’t count as stage whispering I assume.

  7. lekhni..you manage to make even a long post very witty and hilarious..does it come with genes or is it only you?…god we won’t want another lekhni, right….we got to carry on with our life too..however dull it it is!

  8. ArSENik: Wow! Your repertoire is impressive. I’m glad I don’t watch movies in the same theater as you…I might actually find your performance more interesting 😉

    Kamini: Thanks 🙂 I am not trying to remain mysterious, I just don’t like talking about myself. But if it does add to the mystery…:)

    prasoon: Thanks 🙂 Welcome, first time commenter! (Were you lurking all along?)

    Srivalli: Thanks for the kind words.. it must be the genes; it certainly does not come from practice 😛

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